


A Year of Andreil

by Beautifu1Mind



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andreil, Andrew Minyard - Freeform, Ayearofandreil2021, Exy (All For The Game), King - Freeform, M/M, Nathaniel Wesninski - Freeform, Neil Josten - Freeform, Nightmare, Palmetto State University, Palmetto State University Foxes, andriel - Freeform, graduated Neil josten, palmetto state foxes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28624836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautifu1Mind/pseuds/Beautifu1Mind
Summary: A year of Andreil prompts, I hope to keep up as this will give me an excuse to write :)TW //January - nightmares, death, hits at past sexual assaultFebruary- death
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	1. Nightmares

Neil was used to nightmares. He had them almost nightly for as long as he could remember. A side effect of the running, a side effect of the trauma. Neil slept through the night for the most part, but would sometimes jolt awake. Since he slept alone it was never a big deal.

Andrew fell into the same boat. He could never forget his past, but his dreams didn't hold back on reminding him of it anyways. He always brushed them off like he did anything else. He let the trauma get to him once, never again, he decided. This particular night, he was shaken up more than usual. 

Just like his own emotions, Andrew didn't give in to any romantic fantasies. He had messed around with guys in Juvie and college, but they were only ever just hook ups. Neil Josten came around and slowly Andrew began to feel things for him that he usually just shoved into a vault with everything else. "A side effect of the drugs," He had convinced himself. When he sobered up and still felt this way for Neil it became significantly harder to fight it, but he wouldn't give in, until Neil was inches from him, and it became hard not to. He had Neil and for once he felt like maybe life was worth something. He didn't trust it. Neil was a runaway and a liar, this was nothing, I only could be nothing. Perhaps giving in for a while would alleviate the twist in his gut when he kissed him. Then he almost lost Neil. In a furious panic he had hurt the person he swore to protect, he lashed out in front of his team, and did all of it sober. He was in shambles, and he realized this was no longer nothing. He really felt things for Neil. Maybe he even loved him. 

Andrew jolted awake from his nightmare and flung his left arm out, hitting Neil seconds after he had opened his eyes. The back of his palm slammed square into Neil's jaw with quite a bit of force, jolting Neil awake. Andrew was miles away from their room. He wasn't brought back until he heard Neil's soft, and sleepy, "Andrew?" Andrew turned to Neil slowly, and a second later climbed out of bed and headed for their kitchen. He was pouring a glass of water when King began to butt his ankles. Andrew let out a deep breath, and leaned down to pet the cat. He was in the middle of taking a drink when he heard the creak of footsteps behind him. He didn't turn to face the man as he approached. Neil could sense Andrew's tension so he softly asked, "Yes or no." Andrew was silent for a moment before he nodded. Neil grabbed Andrew's cold hands and lead him to the sofa. Neil sat down and Andrew followed, laying his head in Neil's lap. Neil ran his hand through Andrew's hair and Andrew shut his eyes.

Normally, waking from a nightmare would signal the start of Andrew's day. He wouldn't have even bothered to go back to sleep, but with Neil's body warmth and hand through his hair, it calmed him. No one from his past had ever cared enough about him to hold him the way Neil did. He did it so carefully, every move was slow and cautious. He knew about Andrew's horrors and he actively made sure he felt safe. Andrew hated him for it. He spent years pushing down every emotion, wanting nothing, knowing it was all too good, and now he has Neil. Neil would drop everything for Andrew. He went to Evermore for him. He covered Andrew when Drakes assault left him exposed. Neil knew he was headed for death and he went out of his way to tell Andrew thank you. Andrew didn't need this. Yet here he was. Neil's hand slowed as Andrew drifted asleep. Neil continued until he was sure Andrew had fallen back asleep. He laid his head back and fell asleep as well, careful not to startle Andrew back awake.

Neil woke up before Andrew in the morning. When Andrew shifted awake, Neil slowly brought his hand to his hair to let Andrew know he was safe. Andrew sat up, and Neil knew better than to press him about the night before. Instead he stood up and walk to the kitchen to begin brewing some coffee. When he returned Andrew had Sir on his lap, and sat starting at nothing in particular. He accepted Neil's coffee and they sat silently. 

Andrew reached his hand over and grabbed Neil's hand. This unusual action caused Neil to lower his cup and turn to Andrew. Andrew didn't look at Neil, he just drank his coffee. Neil knew everything about Andrew, and vice versa. They had shared secrets and life stories throughout the years. Neil knew about Andrew's nightmares and he knew about his but they both knew neither man really gave them a second thought. Neil knew last night was different but he wasn't sure how.

"I hate you." Andrew said, still not turning to Neil. 

"I know, " Neil replied, "I'd be worried if you said you didn't." 

"They took you, Andrew said. Then he turned to Neil. "They took you from me."

For the first time since he was reunited with Andrew in Baltimore, Neil saw that look in Andrew's eyes. He could never truly put a pin on it. And it was always fleeting. Like Andrew was feeling something but couldn't catch it before it showed on his face.

That's all Andrew said to Neil, and it was all he needed to. He knew the events of that day had rattled Andrew in a way that he didn't want to admit. He didn't want to admit he had let Neil in. They both knew this. It was an unspoken fact. Neil regretted the way his death would have affected Andrew. Neither of them had ever had anything like this, they were learning all the consequences of it, but they were learning together. 

Neil gave Andrew's hand a squeeze, pulling his attention back in.

"Not without a fight.” Neil leaned in to kiss Andrew, he pulled away and looked at Andrew again. That look in his eyes was gone, replaced with his usual bored stare, and he added "from both of us." 

"I really do hate you," Andrew replied and Neil swore he saw his mouth twitch before Andrew kissed him again.


	2. February - “No”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s always yes with you.”  
> “Unless it’s no,”
> 
> Prompt requested by: t_j_m
> 
> TW: Death, mentions of death

Death had been a constant in Neil's life. From the day he was born, until Riko's death it had followed him. It was near impossible to live a life on the run without it. He had gotten so caught up in the drama of his Freshman year, he hadn't even noticed the anniversary of his mother's death had come and passed. Every month had felt a little bit easier as he grew used to not having her in his life anymore and he was surrounded with his new family, but that didn't mean the hurt was gone.

His sophomore year had significantly less of a toll on his over all mental wellbeing and it was a slower pace. His biggest issues now were dealing with a few bits of the aftermath of the previous year and handling the new freshman, specifically Jack. Without the usual distractions and fears taking up the space in his head where his grief resonated, Neil felt it as soon as he woke up the morning and realized it was the 3rd year since her death. His grief laid heavy on him. He was used to shoving it down and moving on, but today he didn't have the energy to. He missed her a lot. Their life on the run was never happy, and it was never fun. His mother had to protect them and this caused her to be harsh at times, but he still loved her more than anything. 

Neil sat in the silence of his room, trying to sleep away the pain in his chest. He could here the cousins shuffling around in the main room. He must have been the last one up. Kevin appeared in the doorway a few minutes later. "Neil. Let's go. If you make us late-" He was cut off by Andrew pushing passed him to chuck a coffee cup at Neil. It hit his back, and he rolled over and got out of bed. Kevin and Andrew left the room to let him change into gym clothes, and then they all piled into Andrew's car and headed to the gym.

Exy was a great distraction for Neil. When he stepped on the court every single thought left him and all he was left with was the thrill of the game. He didn't want practice to end today, but naturally it did, and he was released to go to his classes. He didn't pay attention in any of them, his mind drifted to his life on the run. He had made it, and that relieved the guilt he had felt all last year. His mother may not have survived, but at least he did. Her death wasn't for nothing.

By the time afternoon practice arrived Neil was exhausted. He just wanted to go back to the dorm, take a long hot shower, and go to bed early. He shoved all his thoughts aside and headed to the locker room. The team was getting dress and the only sound was gear shuffling and Nicky and Matt arguing about whether or not the newest movie they had watched was good. Neil grabbed his gear and put on what he could in the stall. When he emerged most of the team had left. Just Nicky remained. Nicky turned to Neil as he reentered the main room, shot him toothy grin, then snatched his helmet off the bench and headed out of the room. A minute later, Neil followed him out.

Neil went hard at practice, this was nothing new, but he was quieter. Neil was co-captain this year along side Dan so she still did most of the talking, and Kevin headed drills, meaning Neil could completely shut himself off and focus on Exy.

Neil didn't shower in the locker rooms after practice. Nicky and Matt had decided to go see a movie during their pre-practice discussion and had somehow managed to drag most of the team along. Neil claimed exhaustion to get out of going and jogged back to Fox Tower. He took the hot shower he wanted so desperately and when he got out he realized the suite was empty. Andrew's absence was odd, but Neil wasn't complaining. He enjoyed Andrew's presence, but today he just wanted to sleep, and move on to tomorrow. He opened his binder and flipped to the last page where he had a photo of his mother. She didn't take photos often, so this one was a black and white image of her from 10 years ago that the papers had used in Nathan's story. It was the only thing he had left of her, besides the money and contact list that he no longer needed. Neil heard the lock in the main room give way to someone with a key and quickly shoved the binder back in the safe, but left her photo on the dresser.

Neil shut the bedroom door behind his as exited the room. The living room was empty, but a pair of black boots sat by the door. Andrew. Neil caught sight of his black tee in the kitchenette and walked to join him.

"You didn't go to the movie?" Neil asked, not expecting an answer, because, of course Andrew didn't go. As expected Andrew didn't even look at Neil as he stood looking in the freezer. "We're out. Nicky ate the last pint last night," Neil said as Andrew began to shut the door. "We can go get some." Neil still would have preferred to go to bed, but something about Andrew's presence was calming the grief churning in his stomach and clouding his mind. Andrew seemed to like the idea of getting some ice cream because he walked past Neil to put his shoes back on. Neil followed suit, and they headed down the stairs to Andrew's car. They sat silently on the way to the shop, not an awkward silence but the comforting kind. It was one of the thing Neil loved about Andrew and their relationship. It had never been, nor did he think it could ever be, awkward. They understood one another in an unspoken way. He might say they were soulmates, if Neil believed in such things. Although Andrew really made him want to.

They returned to Fox Tower with a bag full of ice cream. Neil went to the suite to put them away and grab spoons while Andrew continued to climb the stairs to the roof. They ate their ice cream and chatted about nonsense topics such as what they would do if the world was going to end in 24 hours. Neil said he would want to just go on a road trip and be with Andrew. Andrew said he would spend it regretting his decision to befriend idiots. (This meant he would spend it with Neil) Neil rolled his eyes, knowing Andrew didn't regret anything, and he laughed, just a little, and if felt like the weight bearing down on his shoulder was lifted just for a second and then came crashing down again, and he became aware of how much effort it took to laugh. He didn't know if Andrew caught this and he hoped he didn't. He didn't need to hide his grief from Andrew because Andrew wouldn't pity him, but he felt if he tried to tell him he would breakdown since he finally had a break to properly grieve. As the sun began to set, the boys headed back to the suite. 

The team still wasn't back so they settled on the bean bags, and Andrew put in a film. They sat together and watched the beginning. After a while, Neil looked over to Andrew, silently asking for permission to lay his head in his lap. Andrew acknowledged this with a firm hand on the side of Neil's head and pulled him down. Andrew ran his fingers through Neil's hair as Neil let himself get swept away in the movie. He tuned up to Andrew and studied his face as he looked at the screen. Andrew caught his, but returned his gaze to the movie. Seconds later he whispered, "I hate you," and leaned down to kiss Neil. 

Neil sat up and sat in the place his head had just been. He wrapped his arms around Andrew's neck and leaned in to kiss him. Andrew's kisses were like a drug to Neil. He craved them, and once he got them, he was flying high. All these months later, Andrew still kissed Neil with the passion of a goodbye. Like every kiss would be their last and it made Neil's heart pound and his stomach flutter. Andrew slipped his hands under Neil's shirt and up his back. Neil pulled back and Andrew immediately tilted his head. Neil met his lips against Andrews neck and kissed him softly. Andrew let out a quiet hum in approval. He could feel Andrew's grip stiffen on his back. Andrew tilted away from Neil and nudged him to stand up. Neil did so, and Andrew followed. Andrew made sure the front door was locked before heading to the bedroom, Neil at his heels. Neil's stomach churned in a way he had never felt before. For a split second he was thrown back to his time on the run and his mother's blows. He had broken every single rule she had laid down, and although he didn't regret it, this stung a little bit today. When he reached the bedroom, Andrew shut and locked the door behind him. This double barrier would give them time before the others would fully get back. It eased both of their nerves. Andrew turned around to face Neil and slid his hands back up his shirt. They kissed for a few impossibly long second before Andrew pushed Neil to the bed. Neil looked up at Andrew his hair shone a dull blue in the light from the window, and Neil felt his heart flutter but that's all. Andrew kissed Neil's neck as he fought with his thoughts. All of a sudden he wished he were back in the beanbags his head on Andrew's lap, dozing off. He wanted this day to be over, even though he knew the grief wouldn't just magically disappear. Neil was sure Andrew felt him tense under him. He felt Andrew's hot breath on his neck, and it shock nerves down his spine. "Yes or no?" It was a common question in all of their exchanges, it was asking for consent, and Neil would never be annoyed by this. He had told Andrew last year that it would always be yes, and he meant that. It was still a yes right now, but it was also a no. Neil wanted to badly to have Andrew, but he couldn't. He was too overwhelmed to focus on Andrew and he was tired. He answered Andrew in a whisper, "No." There was no shock in Andrew's face as he pulled away. He just looked at Neil. Neil could feel his eyes piercing through every wall Neil had up. Every flood gate holding back his grief was destroyed by Andrew's gaze. He looked over to where Neil's safe was hidden, the to the photograph on the dresser. There was no way Andrew could piece together what was going on, but he didn't need to to understand. Neil's eyes stung with tears as he blinked them away.

Andrew gets up out of Neil's bed and climbs up the ladder to his bunk. He grabs a pillow and blanket and returns to Neil. Andrew has never and probably won't ever be the comforting type, but Neil prefers this. Comfort was something Neil never got growing up so it was something he didn't feel he needed now. Andrew placed his pillow next to the wall and laid down next to Neil. They faced each other just like that night after they arrived back from Baltimore and Neil fell asleep.


End file.
